9 AM. The day is young. You have two exams, one of which is cumulative, a 10-page paper that should have been finished yesterday–or at least started, an online quiz, and an assignment you don’t know what to call it because you don’t understand it…or maybe it’s because you haven’t read the project instructions yet.
Regardless, you have a lot to do. Emphasis on ‘a lot’. But instead of avoiding the very mistake that put you into your current situation, you procrastinate some more. Now it’s 11 PM and you’re forced to face the inevitable– the all-nighter.
Here’s 10 ways to get the most out of your all-nighter and make those crucial moments before the sun rises worthwhile.
Update all your social media outlets. It’s not an official all-nighter unless everyone else knows you are pulling an all-nighter.
1. Update your Facebook with a long, wordy rant, with an undertone of complaining, about your uncaring professors and their pointless assignments. Ending with questions like “Is it over yet?”, “How many days til graduation?”, and “Is all this really necessary?” will really leave your audience wondering.
2. Use Twitter to come up with clever and witty 160-character declarations about how coffee and Red Bull are your best friends using numerous hashtags and don’t forget the obvious #allnighter. A question such as #whatislife could be asked here.
3. Last but not least, spend several minutes arranging your textbooks and notes around your computer in an aesthetically pleasing manner and take a photo that’s destined for 200+ likes on Instagram. Add a filter– choose something dark and gloomy, like X-Pro II or Sutro, to reflect your feelings toward school. Hashtags of every item in the photo such as #books #computer #table #desk #pencil #randomguyacrossthetable #coffee #allnighter will help your followers directly find the photo later in the puddle of all the other thousands of Instagram photos similarly tagged.
Start Working on Your Assignments.
4. Open Blackboard. If it seems to be running just the taddest bit too slow, take this opportunity to go back to steps 1-3. Update all your friends on the inconvenience of technology. Blame all nonproductivity on those precious 5 seconds lost.
5. Opening Blackboard was tough work. Now that you’re all logged in, you’re pretty much almost done. Take some time to reward yourself for all your effort. Google all-nighter and end up here at bluecoastlive. Now we’re taking you to here. Don’t worry it’s definitely related and will make you laugh, which is good for stress. And less stress = more productivity. (Don’t forget to return to steps 1-3 to repost this with something like “OMG, this is soooooo me.”)
Nourish Yourself. Nobody’s happy if your stomach ain’t happy.
6. Ovid’s comes in clutch. It’s open late during dead week and finals week.
To avoid having to pack up all your things, ask the girl beside you if she can watch it. She could possibly be the very person who was planning to steal your computer, possibly even the Foot Stabber, but you’re pretty sure she was in your UK 101 class three years ago. You think.
7. You can’t eat and study. Watch this cute video of this kid making his case for a cupcake while you eat your Spicy Beef Wrap.
8. Complain that there’s not enough hours in the day. Take your pick of social media outlet.
9. Use this calculator to figure out what’s the worst grade you can get and still pass the class. Because face it– everything isn’t going to get done.
Start Your Assignments. (For real this time.)
10. Spend the next few hours, minutes, possibly even remaining seconds, viciously working on your assignment. Feel the productivity ooze from your fingertips. Finish at least one assignment with just enough time to make it to your 9 AM class. Devise a method to finish the remaining assignments and study in between classes. So perhaps this list doesn’t make for the most productive all-nighter, but it certainly makes for an entertaining one.